Die Happy
by Synthetic Cake
Summary: After the LABB case, Beyond Birthday finds himself alone in the hospital until his burns heal. He gets a certain visitor, and they have a chat. LxB fluffiness. Emotional!B and Low self-esteem!B. Oneshot.


**A/N: Yes, another oneshot. DX I'm sorry, but I haven't really been able to think of much for what I SHOULD be writing - instead I've been writing quickies of whatever comes to mind. Plus, I've gotten myself a tablet and Animal Crossing: Wild World. Between those and school and rping....I'm drained brain-wise. *slumps* I need tomato juice.....preeze...**

**Well.....Enjoy it. ^^ This was mostly an attempt to get into the minds of L and B, and I think I did quite well, at least for B. Maybe his motives aren't quite what most think, but meh...I tried.  
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It had almost been the perfect case. One that L could not solve.

But that Naomi Misora girl…I had underestimated her. I should of expected it; L doesn't choose people out of a hat.

Although…that would be somewhat humorous.

"Backup." My eyes widened at that voice. It could only belong to one person. Even though I was being addressed by that horrible alias that made me feel ill, my heart soared.

L.

Lawliet.

My Lawli-pop.

He was standing in the doorway, with his usual slouched over posture. His dark brown-black eyes stared at me. Cold, as always.

"Yes, Lawli-pop?" I responded eagerly. His face scrunched up into a look of disgust.

"Backup, please do not call me 'Lawli-pop.' I don't like it," he scolded. No, not exactly scolding. It was more…he was reminding me.

"Then don't call me 'Backup,' Lawliet!" I retorted, perhaps not as kindly as my sweet role model had been.

L gave me a small smile and stepped calmly over to my bed. Ever so gracefully, he sat down in the chair beside the bed. So easily he sat like that…it had taken me months of watching and imitating to master this position. I wonder if this came natural to him. Maybe his parents(if he even had any - he seems too perfect to be anything but a test tube baby made to be perfect) taught him?

It may be something I shall never know.

"Do not call me 'Lawliet' either, B," L told me sternly. "As long as I am here, I wish to be addressed to as 'Ryuuzaki'."

I sat up so quickly that my bandages cut into my burns. There was so much unbearable pain that I had to curl up and breathe for several minutes. After the agony had passed, I glanced up at L with tear burned eyes. "R-Ryuuzaki?" I gasped. "But that's--"

"Your alias. I know." L nodded. I then remembered that L's aliases were taken from people he thought as "worthy" enough for him - most often other detectives who were long gone and L felt they should live on.

Tears filled my eyes again, but for a different reason. L, the great detective, was taking my alias. He felt that I, Beyond Birthday, his minion, his shadow, his…_backup_, was good enough for him. He felt that I was important enough for him to take my alias.

What an honour.

"Th-thank you….Ryuuzaki," I breathed slowly.

L gave me his wonderful, wonderful, angel-like smile again. However, the smile became clouded over by a concerned expression. He reached out to touch my bandages. "You are in a lot of pain, aren't you?" he asked gently. It wounded more like a statement than a question.

I nodded. "The burns really hurt, but I brought it on myself.

"Haven't they given you any painkillers?" L brought his other hand up to his face, gnawing on his thumbnail in thought.

I sighed and shook my head. "No, they have no," I replied. "Most likely, I am not deserving of painkillers."

L looked appalled. "That certainly cannot be it! No matter what you have done, you need something to bring down the amount of pain you must be in!"

"It doesn't hurt that much if I stay still and don't move." I hated looking to weak in front of L.

He sighed. "May I look at your wounds, then? If that is the way this hospital operates, then I wish to observe the damage myself."

Giving a small nod, I carefully began to unravel the bandages. I let them drop onto the sheets. It was about time I had them changed anyway.

"Hm…" L leaned forward and gently brushed his hand over my chest, moving his hand down to my stomach. I felt my heart start pounding in my chest, and goose pimples started to rise on my skin. L was touching me! First he though I was worthy of being visited, then he thought I was good enough to take an alias from…now he was touching me! It was like being touched by an angel, or God himself.

Yes. L was God. I was in Heaven.

"Beyond…!" L whispered suddenly in surprise. "What…What is this!?" His fingers were tracing over some cuts on my stomach. Ones I'd made to test out the sharpness of my knife…and to remind myself. "'Beyond Birthday, _not _Backup'…" He looked at me, worry and sick realisation in his dark eyes. "Oh.."

"Pay no attention to that, Ryuuzaki," I told him quickly, closing my eyes. "Just investigate the burns."

"You wanted to kill yourself for more reasons than just create the 'perfect case,' didn't you?" His hands were on my shoulders now.

I suddenly stood up, surprising even myself. "What do you think!?" I screamed. "I had nothing else to live for! My family - gone! My best friend -found dead hanging from the ceiling fan!" Tears burned my eyes and I slumped to my knees. "And the one I love most…the one I tried to model myself into…" I let out an uncharacteristic snort while trying to keep my tears in, and looked up at L. "…He doesn't even care how much I love him. I'll tear out my own heart and give it to you if you want!" Unable to contain myself, I fell into a sobbing heap on the hospital floor.

L's voice became gently, and sounded closer than I expected it to be. He must of knelt down beside me. "Beyond Birthday….I never said that I never cared about your love…" he said. "And what happened at the Wammy House was out of your control." I felt his warm arms slowly wrap around me and pull me close. My head was on his chest, feeling his slow and steady heartbeat.

Mmm….he smelt of strawberry shortcake.

I looked up at him. He gave me a small smile and kissed my forehead.

Euphoria. Complete bliss. This is the affection I've yearned for so long. My pain completely melted away…

"Beyond…if only you hadn't done those murders…I would have been happy for you to join me."

"You mean that?" I stared at him.

L nodded and pulled himself - and me - up. Carefully he pushed me back onto the bed. "Now, just rest, Beyond. You'll need it to heal."

I sighed. "Not that it matters. I'll be going to jail as soon as these wounds are healed."

L looked down. "This is the first time I wish that justice didn't win," I heard him mutter as he walked out the door.

I didn't quite care what happened to me anymore. L had kissed me. He had hugged me and comforted me.

I was pretty sure I could die happy now.


End file.
